Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of anger, unsure of how to break free? Paul Zolman's journey from a tempestuous past to a present drenched in love is a story that promises hope and inspiration. During our heartfelt conversation, Paul peels back the layers of his life, revealing how he conquered deep-seated resentment and transformed it into an unwavering commitment to love. He didn't just read about love languages; he lived them. From his childhood struggles to an emotional awakening guided by the teachings of Jesus Christ, Paul's narrative is a beacon for anyone seeking to replace bitterness with compassion.
The magic of love languages isn't reserved for the fairy tales of romance—it's an everyday spell we can cast on all our interactions. This episode is a masterclass in harnessing the gift of affirmative expression, as Paul demonstrates the profound effects of consistent, genuine gestures of love. It's about the power behind a thoughtful word, a selfless act, and even the appropriate touch. With anecdotes that will resonate with families and friends alike, we unravel how small acts of kindness can forge deeper connections and lead to a more fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us.
Imagine a world where our future generations are as fluent in kindness as they are in their ABCs. We delve into the heartwarming initiative within schools that's championing this very idea, as children begin their days rolling dice that challenge them to bring love into action. With Paul's insights, we discuss the potential this holds for shaping a society brimming with empathy and unity. Wrapping up, we reflect on the indelible mark each of us can leave through choosing love over anger every day, and how, through simple acts, we can weave a tapestry of connection that blankets the world in warmth. Join us for this enriching exploration, and let Paul's story inspire you to be a curator of kindness in an often indifferent world.
With 4Freedom, all your communications, internet activity, and app usage are encrypted using multiple layers of robust, military-grade encryption algorithms that surpass the standards used by the NSA.
You can start your secure account today:
https://www.4freedommobile.com?ref=bridgebuilders
Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of anger, unsure of how to break free? Paul Zolman's journey from a tempestuous past to a present drenched in love is a story that promises hope and inspiration. During our heartfelt conversation, Paul peels back the layers of his life, revealing how he conquered deep-seated resentment and transformed it into an unwavering commitment to love. He didn't just read about love languages; he lived them. From his childhood struggles to an emotional awakening guided by the teachings of Jesus Christ, Paul's narrative is a beacon for anyone seeking to replace bitterness with compassion.
The magic of love languages isn't reserved for the fairy tales of romance—it's an everyday spell we can cast on all our interactions. This episode is a masterclass in harnessing the gift of affirmative expression, as Paul demonstrates the profound effects of consistent, genuine gestures of love. It's about the power behind a thoughtful word, a selfless act, and even the appropriate touch. With anecdotes that will resonate with families and friends alike, we unravel how small acts of kindness can forge deeper connections and lead to a more fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us.
Imagine a world where our future generations are as fluent in kindness as they are in their ABCs. We delve into the heartwarming initiative within schools that's championing this very idea, as children begin their days rolling dice that challenge them to bring love into action. With Paul's insights, we discuss the potential this holds for shaping a society brimming with empathy and unity. Wrapping up, we reflect on the indelible mark each of us can leave through choosing love over anger every day, and how, through simple acts, we can weave a tapestry of connection that blankets the world in warmth. Join us for this enriching exploration, and let Paul's story inspire you to be a curator of kindness in an often indifferent world.
With 4Freedom, all your communications, internet activity, and app usage are encrypted using multiple layers of robust, military-grade encryption algorithms that surpass the standards used by the NSA.
You can start your secure account today:
https://www.4freedommobile.com?ref=bridgebuilders
My guest today is Paul Zoman. He is the international best-selling author of the Role of Love, but the true author of Love is God. In his wisdom, he has placed us in a variety of circumstances that requires us to find our way back to his pure love. So what qualifies me to speak about love? Paul asked my childhood experience of opposite of love. From that astere beginning and to this taste it formed inside of him, he searched for and eventually created a method that transformed his life from anger to loving everyone.
Speaker 1:Growing up in a family of abuse, physical touch became preferred love style. Only because of the irregularity he could almost count on it. It was consistent. He came to think that was a way to express love, but deep inside he knew that it was a twisted belief. He wanted a better life for himself and that is why he created a paradigm shift that works. In his book you'll find what helped him move from childhood boot camp of abuse to being a person who loves everyone, can find good about everyone in any circumstances. This is truly the role of love. Hope you join us for this discussion. We welcome Paul to the podcast. Well, it's so good to have Paul on the show. How you doing, paul?
Speaker 2:Doing great, Keith. Pleasure to be with you today.
Speaker 1:It's great to have you on looking forward to this conversation as we can talk about how to better care and love for each other. So this is especially in these times that I think it's a really important topic for us to kind of delve into.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Looking forward to your questions.
Speaker 1:We'll start out with an easy one. At least I think it's easy, but my guests have debated me on that one. But what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Speaker 2:It's interesting, keith, because I thought about it. I think I'm going to go way back to when I was in driver's education. I got my driver's license at age 15, and probably the best piece of advice was from that driver's education teacher said stay in your lane and just stay in your lane, but be aware of everything else that's going on in everybody else's lane, but stay in your lane. And I think that really applies a lot. There's that ripple effect of that just keeps coming back, coming back, coming back. Stay in your lane.
Speaker 1:I think I heard that when I was in track too. It's like make sure you stay in your lane.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there you go you got to cross this.
Speaker 1:It crosses all kinds of rules there in terms of, I guess, genres and working. I guess I could say I'm always curious about people I've talked, especially my guests. We never get here by ourselves, but who are some people in your life who serve to inspire you?
Speaker 2:Keith, that's a great question and I really appreciate that. I grew up in a family that was really an angry family. There was lots of different kinds of abuse that happened in the family and I was looking, I was always looking for who can I really model my own family after? And I made that vow that every 17 or 18 year old makes when they're in high school and they're about ready to leave the nest I'm not going to be like my parents. I'm going to be a whole lot better than my parents. Everybody makes that vow.
Speaker 2:The worst part about it is that when you start doing things like your parents did and you start passing it on to your children, that is upsetting. So the person that really helped me out of that would be my brother. I have an older brother that he really tried to break that mold of that family, of that angry family, but he still had the same issues. He still had this stacking issue that we stack annoyance on top of annoyance on top of annoyance until he had this flash of anger. You never would ever know when that flash of anger would happen. I realize he had that issues, but when he wasn't having that annoyance issue he was a really, really good person, so I really admire him for the example that he set for me in that way. He passed just last year or well, I guess it's been about a year and a half ago that he passed away, but I still look to him as a great older brother, great good example of someone that was very close to me that I just enjoyed his relationship probably more than any other. Thank you very much. That's a great question, keith, and the story really is that in 2015-ish I was starting to realize that I had an anger problem and the realization came when this brother that I was just talking about I was dating someone.
Speaker 2:My first marriage fell apart, partly probably because of my fault being having those anger issues from time to time, but there were definitely other factors that helped the marriage fall apart. After 23 and a half years I had eight children and it was just kind of a difficult situation, but I started dating again. I found someone that I was interested in, was serious with. It was time for big brother approval. So I take this woman north of 300 miles from where I live, go to my brother's house and the first thing that happens is my sister-in-law pulls her aside and says the only emotion that the Zulman family learned growing up was anger. At first I denied it. I said, oh aw, didn't it make me mad? And I thought, huh, you know what? I just verified exactly what she said and I realized at that point in time, keith, that that really was a turning point for me that if there was an opportunity to change that perception of the Zulman family, now was the time.
Speaker 2:So I started reading what I thought would be the opposite of anger would be love, and I started reading about the color code and I started reading the five love languages and I really liked the principles of the five love languages, mainly because Dr Chapman was a reverend like yourself and he had said that these five love languages I'm Christian. He said these five love languages actually were reconciled to the life of Jesus Christ, that by following these love languages you actually could become more like Jesus Christ. That resonated with me. I wanted to become more like him, but I didn't get it. I just didn't get it. You mean, dr Chapman, if I guess what Keith's love language is and I cater to that you're going to call that love.
Speaker 2:I didn't come from love, and who am I saying what love is, but that didn't sound like love, that sounds like the more of a manipulation, and it just wasn't working for me. Plus, on top of that, keith, I'm a bad guesser. And it wasn't working for me up until that time. Why wouldn't it work now? So that didn't work. But the second thing that Dr Chapman says well, if you take this survey, paul, then you'll find out what your love language is. Well, dr Chapman, what in the heck am I supposed to do with that Advertise? Hello, keith, I'm GIFs. What do you have for me today, or better?
Speaker 1:yet.
Speaker 2:I could make a little badge and put it on my lapel here and say hello, I'm GIFs. Here's my Venmo account, my QR code Scan me and just send it over. And you know, just those are so awkward, keith. That just didn't work for me. So I thought, you know what, even as dysfunctional our family was growing up, we loved games, and games brought us together, and so so I thought, well, I wonder if I can make this a game.
Speaker 2:So I contacted Dr Chapman asking are you licensing those little icons, those little pictures that you have for each one of the love languages? And after a few weeks his attorney wrote back and said no, we're not doing that at this time. Well, I was kind of grateful because they were really kind of dated. It wasn't something that I really was really hyped about, but I just was interested in the principles. So I went to an attorney, a copyright attorney, an intellectual property attorney in my neighborhood, but that was a friend, told him the idea. He said this he said theory, like the love language, theory is not copyrightable, Application is. So they weren't doing it as a game. So I thought, well, I'm going to make my own icons and then create a game. So that's what I did, and so in 2017, 2015, I had the idea 2017, I got the copyright on this cube that I'm holding in front of you.
Speaker 2:I'm going to just explain it for the listeners that the holding the cube it's about one inch by one inch cubed and it's got two hands that are touching one another. So no words on it. This is the icon that I have for for touch. The next one is an icon that has the two hands put together, form in a heart very familiar thing that people are doing these days but from that heart there's a little conversation fly out that represents the words of the heart. So that would be the words.
Speaker 2:The next one is a hand holding up an hourglass. Hourglass is major time. That would represent time. The next one is looks like a waiter that has a plate, somebody that would serve you, so that would represent service. The last one is a hand holding a gift, and that would represent gifts. You notice that each one is a hand holding it out as if it's being given away, and when I talked about staying in my lane, this is really something that I just as come back over time. One of the attributes of an angry household or an angry culture is that there are no boundaries. I had to learn some boundaries that.
Speaker 2:I can't be looking over the fence at someone and saying what are you doing wrong? What are you doing that that way and try to manage their life for them? I got to stay in my own lane, try to manage my own life. That's big enough problem, Keith. Try to manage your own stuff and try to stay in my lane.
Speaker 2:So I started to realize that I can't really bid love to come my way. I can send it out and I can respond when it comes my way, but those are the really the only two things that I have control over. So, as I'm rolling the die and there's just two instructions, Keith, you roll the cube every day, whatever it lands on. That's the love language you practice giving away all day. That day Now, there's five love languages, six sides on the cube. The last side was there's a hand that holds a question mark. That one is surprise me. So on that day would you just be doing random acts of kindness? So all day long, Keith, what you're watching for is opportunities to send love out all day. Dr Chapman suggests that you do it to your significant other. I didn't have anybody. I said Dr Chapman, who in the heck am I supposed to love?
Speaker 2:I don't have a significant other and I thought, oh well, I guess I just get to love everybody. And it was really powerful for me, keith, that I had to love or had the opportunity to love everybody, because I needed that consistency in my life. I don't know anyone, keith, that is with their significant other 24-7. Some people don't want that. They just do not want to be with their and they need a break. Everybody needs a break. But for me to have to love everybody I came in contact with, I needed that consistency in my life. I needed some behavior that would actually replace that behavior of stacking those annoyances on top of one another until I had that flash of anger and this absolutely did it overnight. It was really so simple overnight Realized that I was focusing on what's wrong with that person and what their faults were and the mistakes that they made, the weaknesses of that person, which probably is 10 to maybe 20% of most people. I was missing the 80% to 90% of that good of that person. And so when I shifted that focus from what's wrong with that person to what's right with that person, what can I love about that person? I was so busy looking at that 80 to 90% of that person now and others. I didn't have time to be annoyed, absolutely did not have time to be annoyed, and it just kind of went away all by itself overnight. It was just that quick that it's like doing an about face in the military, that one time you're facing straightforward, the next time you're doing about face you're facing the other way. It was exactly that for me, that I'm looking a whole different direction, looking for what's, looking for the good in people. And there's so much good out there that just getting in the habit of doing that was the impotence for writing the book, putting together the dive and the other things that I have.
Speaker 2:For this Great question, let me handle the gifts part of it first. So gifts to me is kind of an umbrella love language, because a hug could be a gift, a note could be a gift, spending time with someone could be a gift, serving someone could be a gift. So it really kind of overlaps with all the love languages. It really doesn't have to be a gift that you go out and buy. You could just give a gift of yourself, which would be of all those other things.
Speaker 2:So as far as it comes about to touch, it's a touching subject but you really have to be careful. But you have to understand the boundaries of the relationships and really go back to that boundary line, drawing that boundary line. What would be appropriate for that person? Maybe it's the high five, maybe it's the fist bump, maybe it's creating a fancy handshake that has 10 different steps to it. You know that that's part of touch, but that is something that is specific with just those two people. Maybe those two people are the only ones that have that complicated handshake. That becomes the touch that they have On the football field. It becomes the chest bump. You jump up in the air and you hit the chest right at the right time. Hopefully you're both jumping at the right time. It could be kind of awkward if it wasn't that way, but you're doing those type of things that would be appropriate for the situation. Sometimes a hug is not the right thing, just for example. Keith and I will get to other examples, but this is an example as I'm testing this the cube or the die as I'm testing it with other people.
Speaker 2:I tested it with a family of five children. The youngest one was four years old. One day the four-year-old rolled physical touch. He jumps up and down, he's pumping his fist like this and he said, yes, physical touch. Physical touch Immediately went to beat up on his brothers. He thought it was permission that he could beat up on his brothers. Obviously, keith, that's probably what love how he felt love from those older brothers that they were beating on him because he's younger and they're just putting him down a little bit.
Speaker 2:It was a perfect opportunity for that mother to say no, son, this would be appropriate physical touch. She had the same reaction as you did, keith, only trying to suppress the laughter. You don't want to encourage that kind of behavior. So trying to suppress that laughter after that was a reaction she did not expect. But after that became a teaching moment, not only for that four-year-old but for the siblings that were there in the room at the same time that this was happening. Then she saw the whole thing. So it becomes a teaching moment for that mother. And just take those opportunities. Teaching moments come from time to time. Sometimes it's not appropriate to teach Exactly the same thing with touch. Sometimes it's not appropriate to give that hug, but you could do the high five, the fist bump, whatever it is that is appropriate, the pat on the back, above the waist, obviously.
Speaker 1:Right, I've been in places, some congregations, where the pastor, for example, was a hugger Okay. So some members just got really used to getting that hug from the pastor and really, really appreciated. I also noticed because I was in the back. I always watched the rooms, I'm always observing and I noticed that some people, especially guests, were not as comfortable with that. So I agree with you, you got to know your situation. Just because that's your love language it doesn't mean it's everybody's love language and you have to learn when to apply that appropriate situation for touch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this is how I do that, keith. No longer do you have to say excuse me, could you pause this relationship for a moment? Why have you taken this survey? So I know how to love you. You don't have to do awkward anymore. You have to do your observation skills, just watch.
Speaker 2:So what you're watching for as you're practicing the genre of love that you rolled that particular day, as you're practicing that, what you're watching for is when people light up. When they light up, you hit upon something that they really like. It's how you discover their primary or a secondary love language, something that they really like they're going to light up. You're going to have opportunities that, while you're practicing one style of one type of love every single day, you're going to have opportunities to light up three to ten, maybe more, people in a day's period of time. While you're watching them light up, you're making their day.
Speaker 2:There's great satisfaction in making someone's day a lot better. Really, kind of has that ripple effect. They're going to tell their friends, they're going to tell their circles of influence what a great day they've had and spill that over. Contrast that to, though, someone sending anger out and making someone have a terrible, miserable day, spreading misery, like the father of all misery would spread. And then they spread it, and then they spread that to their friends too, or they spread it to everybody and make everybody's day miserable. Why would we even send that out? Why would we even start that string? Let's start working on helping people have a better day. Lifting one another and helping each other have a better day, lighting each other up that's what we're trying to do with the Cube. All day long, you're trying to light people up, and when they light up, you've made that discovery. Make a mental note for that person. That's what they like, and then wash, rinse, repeat, do it again for that person. We're not trying to box them in like the survey might do for them, keith. We're not saying Keith, I'm going to feed you tacos every day for the rest of your life, that's it. That's all you're going to get for the rest of your life, because I know you love tacos. You're going to get tired of it.
Speaker 2:This dice provides the variety and the style of love. It also does another thing for you, keith. By giving it away over a 30-day period, you actually learn all five love languages, and by doing that it's easier for you to see it, when it comes your way. It may not be your primary love language, you can say, oh, they're loving on me, it's not my primary love language, but I can love them back because I can see they're trying to love me or they are sending love my way. You can respond to that. It really improves that communication and closes that gap, that there's a huge gap right now. What I see with what Dr Chapman has done is that everybody's got that primary love language. That's a fabulous discovery that he made, that everybody does have that primary love language. I've been in total agreement with that.
Speaker 2:But what we try to do and does it work? We try to make it a transaction. Love is not transactional. This is not a reality, shokie. This isn't. Let's make a deal. Stop trying to trade love for love. You send it out without any regard of whether it's coming back. But trust the laws of the universe like that were set in place before you and I were ever born the law of the harvest, karma, the law of attraction they all say the same thing that whatever you send out is going to come back to you at some point in time. Trust that that's going to happen, but don't expect it right now. Don't expect it's going to come back. Trust that you'll get satisfaction when you light people up, and that's good enough for today.
Speaker 1:I was really impacted by that book and the five love languages. So much so that when I was in the parish, I was going to redo my entire process of how elders cared for their people underneath their care, and I was going to actually arrange all of them by their love language. And it was a great concept because it's like I think sometimes a lot of the elders I was working with were not really comfortable interacting with their members very well, and so they just didn't. So I thought, well, if we can organize them according to their love language, then all the people who like physical touch are in one category with one set of elders. All those who like gifts were in that category, and it was a great idea. Somehow it didn't work like I hoped it would, but it was. The concept of what you're talking about is how do we make sure that the people under our care feel and know that they are loved and valued by not only God but those who God is placed in charge over them?
Speaker 2:I absolutely agree with that. Everybody needs to feel that way and one of the problems I see in society that people sit at home wait for love to come their way. It doesn't work that way. And I love the sound of music and it's really a great classic musical.
Speaker 2:But in that there's that little guy, the young man that writes the bicycle. His name's Rolf. Rolf is writing his bicycle, he's in love with Maria Bontrape. So at one point in time he rides his bicycle, maria's on the second story of the Bontrape home and she has her window open and he starts singing a song and in that song, keith, he says love in the heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love till it's given away. And I really think that we really need to focus on the powers that we have. We have power to give it away and the ability to respond when it comes our way. That's it, that's our lane. There's nothing else that we have control over. We can't bid it to come our way. We can't really tell people to love us. They'll feel duty bound. It will contaminate that true love, that unfettered love, that unattached, no strings attached type of love that you're looking for. You want that type of love. That's no strings attached. You want to send it out and you want to receive it in that way as well.
Speaker 1:We just had a tragic event in Iowa last week. We had a school shooting and they're far too many of those and we won't get into all those things. But one of the things that I've noticed that's kind of a common theme in these tragic events is the person who commits the crime feels lonely and alone and oftentimes unloved. So how would what you're talking about benefit or be implemented in a system like a school? Because I think what you're talking about has some real merit here. I think love, demonstrating love, has a ripple effect versus what you talked about before, where either anger fosters or love fosters. So how do you implement what you're talking about in a system like that?
Speaker 2:Good question, keith, and actually as we speak, I'm actually testing it in the school system both here and in New York City. So what they do is the class will roll the die at the beginning of the day, takes two seconds or less to roll the die, and then the teacher will take maybe 30 to 45 seconds to say class. This is the type of behavior we're looking for today. This is what you're going to be watching for. These are the things that would be appropriate in this type of love today. At the end of the day, what happens is and I'm testing it in K through six, so in the younger grades, where they're more impressionable so at the end of the day, what the class needs to do is they check off what they rolled opportunities they saw to love in that way and what they did about those opportunities. It actually becomes a love journal for that child. Oh, what the heck. Now that child is responsible for their own actions. It used to be the teacher or the principal. They're the ones that were the placement for that particular child. Now the child becomes their own placement. They become accountable for their own actions because at the end of the day they have to write about what they did that day. The teacher just does a check mark Did Johnny write something? Check he did. If Johnny wrote something that was really, really good, the teacher might hold that back and read that in front of the class as part of the next day when they roll the die. Look what Johnny did yesterday Class. This is the type of behavior we're looking for and just focus on encouraging the type of behavior you're looking for. You think about that and think about. I like to compare it to a magnifying glass. Whatever you magnify is going to get larger. If you're focusing on discipline and trying to douse problems and focusing on those problems, guess what? Those problems are going to grow bigger. Why would you even want that? Focus on the solution, focus on sending love out. Focus on this all day long and get the children to buy into the responsibility.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I've actually enticed the students with is there's a corporation here called Yogurtland. It's a franchisee of Yogurtland. He'll give for every child that will write in a journal for at least 15 days of the month. He's giving out five ounces of yogurt for free If they'll do 25 days, if they'll actually do it for almost every single day. They're in that classroom for that particular month they'll get 10 ounces of yogurt for free. This is a great cooperation within the community. Great corporate sponsors like that I'm looking for corporate sponsors that would do that in your community, in anyone in a community, where they'll sponsor the dice, they'll sponsor the journal pages. It's not that much, it really isn't that much of an investment for that corporation, and then they'll sponsor the prize for the child that will keep it.
Speaker 2:What happens with this is that at the end of the year those astute parents will say, oh, they're writing in a little journal. They'll keep the pages in order. At the end of the year, what do you have? You have a journal, a love journal for that first grader or that third grader or that sixth grader. Now they've got something that this is how I loved during that time. 10, 20 years down the road they're going to look back and say that was really cool. I forgot that I'd done that and this was development for me, how I learned the basics of love when I was a child, at school.
Speaker 2:It's just something that can be done in the school system and it's just a kindness. Love is kind of a bad word in school. You can't say love in school or you can't say it in a business place. That's who we, you've got to be able to absolutely say that.
Speaker 2:This is what you're doing. You're sending out kindness. You're sending out that decency that common should be common, that common courtesy to other people all day long, teaching the children what I found, keith, as you build those basics, they are now the stair steps. It's very similar to the noise stair steps I had to, that flash of anger. This now becomes the stair steps of kindness on top of kindness on top of kindness. That gets you to those higher laws of love, like charity, like compassion, like, for adults, intimacy, forgiveness or mercy or empathy or sympathy. Those are higher laws of love.
Speaker 2:These are basic. Everybody really should know all these basics and we should be very versed in all five love languages, not just ourselves. It's not about you or me, it's about them and it's about making people have a better day Once we get that self-centeredness out of us and focus on other people. Put the narcissistic behavior quit it Now. Stop it. It's about them and just make it about another person, about making that other person's day. It's going to tamp down a lot of that misbehavior in the classroom and hopefully build a better character through time, build a better character that they'll carry on to the middle school senior, the high school, college and to their life. We'll have a better society in that way.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love to ask my guests this question as well, because you're doing this system. Do you have some success stories you can share? Because a lot of people are like this sounds really good, but are there any evidences that this is working? Maybe you have a success story that you'd like to share with the audience.
Speaker 2:Keith, there's a lot of success stories out there of people doing this and it really starts at the individual. It starts with that person that wants to change, that wants to be that 1% better. It's not going to work with anybody that says, well, I'm not doing that and then I don't want to change. And if they don't want to change or if they want to continue to blame someone else for their problems, it's not going to work for them Really?
Speaker 2:it's not. It only works for those people that really want that incremental change 1% a day. Whatever they want and however much they want it. It's going to work for them. There's a couple that I've been working with, coaching with, and he knows that she doesn't like gifts, that gifts is their very least favorite of all the love languages. But one day he rolled the gifts on the cube. He thought what the heck am I going to do? He knew that she liked words, so what he did was he wrote her a note, wrapped it up, put it in a box and when she opened it she was absolutely delighted. So we're watching for these opportunities. How can I?
Speaker 1:delight that person.
Speaker 2:How can I make that person have a happier day, something that will make them feel good? And we saw like a booster shot every single day. And people need, just like they need food. They need that positive reinforcement, that positive love every single day, and we just need to keep sending it out. Be that instrument in God's hands, be that instrument that can send love out all day, every single day. What that does for you is actually people will come to you. They want more. They're going to want more love.
Speaker 2:It may take a lot of your time and you'll have to do some time management skills to be able to express love and not get frustrated and just be able to continue to send the love out. There'll be those takers out there. There'll be the people that keep coming back because they think it's a free handout. You can't help those people Sometimes. You just have to help them understand that this is all about giving it away. What did you give away today? And you can ask those type of questions say who have you helped today and help train them in that way. That's where the success stories are. It's individuals, it becomes family, it becomes little neighborhoods. It becomes the community, it becomes the state. It becomes the nation, it will impact the world. That's the whole idea. But it has to start with each individual. That way, lots of success stories in that way.
Speaker 1:Paul, what are you most excited about in this season of your life?
Speaker 2:I'm excited, keith, and a great question. I'm very excited about the possibility of what would happen if we were just a little bit more loving, just a little bit, everybody taking that responsibility of loving just a little bit more. Even on my license plate, keith, I put the words try love. It's seven letters and it just fits perfectly right on my license plate. I drive that around. When I cut people off, instead of getting angry, they read my license plate. It's easy to remember Just try love, don't get mad, just try loving thought.
Speaker 2:I think that the impact that I would want to have on people in that way is that I would hope that whatever encouragement, whatever podcast they listen to, whoever they go to, wherever they go to church, that they feel that encouragement to love one another, that they really send it out and realize they are the vehicle by which this world is going to be a better place. Starts with them, starts with each one of us individually. That's my hope, that's the vision I have. What motivates me every single day is that I have been angry for so long. I love this new life. It's something that I never knew existed. It really is brand new to me. It's fresh and it's so exciting. I don't know what the theme for the day is going to be. What will be the purpose for today? What am I going to roll on the cube today? I don't know what that outcome is going to be, but once it manifests itself, I'm watching for opportunities. It provides enough variety that keeps my interest every single day. That's the variety we're looking for. That's what motivates me. That's what keeps me going every single day. The school shootings keep me going every single day.
Speaker 2:How could I have touched those people? How could we have helped that one person that's lonely? Can we reach out? It's not us sitting at home, just sitting waiting for love to come. Go down the street, walk down the street. There's always going to be someone that's a little bit lower feeling, worse than you might feel on that particular day. Lift them up. If you can lift them up, you're going to have that great satisfaction. You're going to be lifted up yourself, but you've made someone else's day and you've helped them not feel so lonely. Come on, let's do it. It's not that hard. It's a whole lot easier than really just sitting in front of a TV that gives you nothing.
Speaker 1:What is the legacy you want to leave in this world?
Speaker 2:That's a great question, keith. I think the legacy would be the legacy of love Instead of someone that was angry and learned anger in their youth. I was trained to be an abuser. I was trained to be very angry my whole life and abused other people. I realized there's got to be a better way. I like to compare it, keith.
Speaker 2:The other day I was walking. I found a walking stick. It's about three feet tall, like any walking stick. One side of it is really nice and smooth, but the other side just has some little knots on it and these little pokey things. I call this side the naughty side of the stick, and this is the nice. Just like Christmas, santa Claus must have a naughty and a nice stick too. That's how he keeps track. That's how you get your presents at Christmas, keith. I didn't know if you knew that or not, but it's just that naughty and nice thing. I think that the anger realizing that anger is on one side of the spectrum love is on the other side of the spectrum.
Speaker 2:The legacy I would like to leave is that people would understand that there's an adjective for the behavior that they're having right then and there. If they can put an adjective to that behavior, then after they determine what that adjective is, then what would be the opposite? Take, for example, the adjective of sarcasm. If you make a sarcastic comment, is that on the angry side of the stick or is it on the loving side of the stick? Is it on the naughty side of the stick or is it on the loving side of the stick?
Speaker 2:I put it on the naughty side of the stick only because, when you consider the opposite, you're considering what's more genuine, what's authentic, what's true. When you compare those two words side by side, you're going to choose to be genuine, you're going to choose to be authentic. That's the hope. That's the legacy I want to leave is that I understood the difference between sarcasm and being genuine. I understood that the offices was able to actually pinpoint what behavior I had at what specific period of time, consider what the opposite was and then align myself with what's the better part, what is the choice to make the better part and choose that better part of life. That's the legacy I would like to leave.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. How can listeners find your book, the Role of Love, and connect with you on social media?
Speaker 2:Great question, keith. Thank you for that. I actually did a play on words. You actually roll R-O-L-L the die outside of you, but the change that happens is R-O-L-E. That's the role that you take. So it's R-O-L-E. Role of Lovecom, and you'll find the book, you'll find the dice, you'll find the journal. It's in a package of our bundle right now, keith, and it's a whole lot less than even one therapy session $29.99 for the bundle right now on sale.
Speaker 1:That's great. And social media Can I find you there?
Speaker 2:It's Role of Love Dice on Instagram or Role of Love Dice on Facebook, Role of Love Dice on LinkedIn. Just look up Role of Love Dice on any one of the platforms that you'll find me.
Speaker 1:Well, paul, thanks so much for coming on and kind of helping us to turn our attention to being a more loving, caring person. And may the ripple effect of that love not only impact our immediate significant other but our families, our communities and hopefully may this catch on so that we have a more loving world, because we're living in a time right now where we're so divided and we're so much anger. We could all benefit from rippling out love in our lives and our communities.
Speaker 2:Absolutely great. Thank you, Keith. It's been a pleasure to be with you today. Great questions. I love the dialogue. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Paul.