What Parents Can Do to Improve Their Kid's Mental Health

More children since the pandemic are dealing with mental health issues than ever before. We have seen that play out in some scary and violent ways. What should parents be on the look out for and how can we help change our kid's mental health? That is the focus of this episode. 
My guest is Roseann Capanna-Hodge. Dr. Hodge is a mental health trailblazer, founder of The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health, and media expert who is, “Changing the way we view and treat children’s mental health”.  FORBES magazine called her, “A thought leader in children’s mental health”. Her work has helped thousands reverse the most challenging conditions: ADHD, anxiety, mood, Lyme, and PANS/PANDAS using PROVEN holistic therapies.  She is featured on dozens of media outlets.
You can get her new books at the link below:

https://www.itsgonnabeok.com

Transcript

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 1:13

well rosanna how are you doing welcome to the show

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 1:17

i'm so excited to be here as always i'm always having a good day

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 1:22

well good i'm glad to hear that because it's a beautiful day here in lovely iowa the sun is shining and the pigs are happy so oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 1:32

the sun is shining here but there's no picks so what

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 1:35

see

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 1:36

that's okay

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 1:38

we have about thirty million hogs in iowa so they're very happy

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 1:42

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 1:44

so i like to ask my guests some kind of warm up questions i get to know you a little better tell us the best advice you've ever received

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 1:53

um i feel like the best advice i've ever received boy i've received a lot of advice from my parents tony and phil mina but my best advice is where my mother basically said don't give a crap what other people think and do what you know to be right and

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:14

interesting

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:14

i live by that and it makes life a lot easier and it makes decision making a lot easier to

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:21

from talking to you before the show i can tell that that you live and embrace that

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:25

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:25

and it's really good

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:29

you know

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:30

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:30

it like gave me clarity like you know my parents really empowered me to be a good decision maker and um you know never try to please people like always be polite and always do the right thing have a lot of integrity but you know just because somebody wants to be rude to you or try to get you to do things that you don't want to do don't ever feel obligated you

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:54

exactly

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:54

know and

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:55

that's

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:55

i think

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:55

very

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:55

that's

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:55

good

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:56

really important and i think women in particular don't learn

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 2:58

ah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 2:59

that until they're older

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 3:01

yeah you can tell society has a kind of pushed people into some very interesting places about that so yeah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 3:07

yeah yeah we want our kids to be followers and not thinkers and my parents were like no we want you to be thinkers and and it's okay for all of you to say no sometimes um and that's and that makes parenting at first feel like it's harder but it really in the end makes it a lot easier because your kids will be good decision makers when you're not around

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 3:31

and you need to be able to have your kids being powered to make decisions because

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 3:34

that's

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 3:34

we

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 3:34

right

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 3:34

don't want them just taking whatever people outside of you know themselves tell them this is this is what you should do and it gets a lot of people in trouble having other peope dictate the decisions that you make

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 3:45

yeah well and it's about setting boundaries

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 3:47

a

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 3:48

so i think one of the things that people learn is that they get older is to set appropriate boundaries not extreme boundaries but like you know he i want you to come here first and pick me up and then we're going to drive three hours and we're going to do that and whatever and you know and you're going to pay for gas and you're going whatever it's like hold on first of all i'm coming with you to do you a favor so you're going to pick me up and this is how it's going to go otherwise i'm not available you know i mean those kind of things and i think that's an extreme example in some ways but we've all been faced with these situations where maybe we're afraid to find our voice and i think it's good to know other people around you don't know how to set boundaries so you're going to need to set them for other o

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 4:32

exactly so tell us something about yourself that most people don't know

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 4:38

oh i have so

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 4:39

i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 4:39

many things about me that people don't know even though i'm such a you know open

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 4:43

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 4:43

book in many ways um i think that people who know me know that i really probably only considered being a mental health professional for the most part but people who deeply know me know that i was a terrible student until to college i just read books in high school and turned in my home work i didn't really do much of anything else because i found it incredibly born and then i went to college and i was like i'm a genius and then graduated early for my doctoral program but other careers i considered was hair hair dressing um because there's a energy right you're talking to people a lot and things like that and then i seriously considered becoming a chef so because i'm very logical went and got a job in high school in a restaurant and i said this is not for me but being a mental health professional was definitely a calling and i was guided to this work but i think most people don't know that i really love love to cook um and would consider myself like a chef i could really honestly make a career out of it but i just it's my passion and it came s me down and it's one of my favorite things to do when i make time to cook just about every day

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 6:04

that's so neat that's really impressed

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 6:05

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 6:05

really impressive

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 6:06

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 6:07

so tell us about your journey i read your bio and you've you've been kind of

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 6:11

oh

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 6:11

known as the expert in children's mental health so tell us about how you get from professors you pick to where you're at today in your in your career

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 6:21

yeah so really interesting so first of all i do feel very much that i was guided to do this work and when i was five i was to ask what i was going to do when i didn't know anything about mental health so i said i was going to be a psychiatrist then i realize your pill pusher so i changed it to psychologist um you know i have always taken an approach the solutions focuses focused approach to men health and i always looked at research so when i would have a client who wouldn't get better i was like well that's not okay like if if they're all in and they're doing the work then there's got to be a way to get them better and i quickly realized that medication and talk therapy didn't do much and in fact a lot of times it made things worse as i started in the early nineties so i started really pulling from mine holistic natural upbringing as a daughter of italian immigrants and really was like there's got to be another way and so when i went to the belly of the basement and looking at micro fish it was pretty clear there were lots of things including diet and exercise and something called narrow feedback and bio feedback and so how did i get from working one on one with people so really you know being on t v and having like some of the most iconic people you can ever think you bring their kids and grant kids to me is word o mouth so used doing something i mean people would find me i didn't even have a website um and where what happened to me was probably about two thousand sixteen i started to really realize that what i was doing was very different and that the people were getting sicker and sicker and sicker in terms of just a high rate of nero developmental disorders anxiety depression and all those things um and that i needed to share what i was doing and all i had to kind of do was my toe in the water and started doing a lot of media and things like that with trying to get a message of hope out to people that really was going to be okay and that we need to look to science because it shows us the common sense way to deal with mental health um and you know now i formed the global institute children's mental health were really doing larger initiatives in different ways to make mental health more accessible more psycho education and to give parents tools not just to be a problem talker but a problem solver

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 9:03

i love that you said it's not just pushing pills because usually that's the first thing you hear when

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 9:08

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 9:09

someone's diagnosis something is like what what pill can i take to get over and i like the fact that you talk about a whole list approach because that really is there is more to it than just take this pill because we don't even know what those pills lead

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 10:16

okay

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 10:17

to because they don't wait they usually lead to something else you know you take this bill

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 10:20

s

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 10:20

like i love the commerce was just like take this for this disease but be aware of that this may cost dire and gets a whole whole list of other things that this pill could result so i like the fact that you don't start there

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 10:33

well you know here's a deal i mean i really specialize

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 10:37

i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 10:37

in kids teen agers young adults these are developing brains we would we should never ever ever hello ever ever start with psychiatric medication in a developing brain and and there's such like there's no two sides to the story keith there's the side that you know parents are asking for these things adults are asking for these things and physicians are pushing these things in the part that is changing is parents and adults saying this isn't working and many times you're saying it's not only not working it's worse than in things because as you said it comes to a host of side effects and every medication has a toxic effect there is no psychiatric medication that doesn't have a toxic effect and there's no psychiatric medication that doesn't have at least a possibility of a side effect and fact eihtvmedic tiens have a hundred percent of the time a side effect and it's just a matter of is the side effect worth the benefit but the other part of this is these people are like what let me go and find something and they're becoming google m des and they're taking charge of their physical and mental health which i love and i approve of but you have to take tion you can't just say oh i don't want to be anxious but i'm going to still act like the same way every day right you know and and i use these amazing too it's to calm the brain and regulate the nervous system neuropeback biopeback p m f and sometimes people come to like that's all i want to do and i'm like sorry that's not what we do you have to do therapy at the same tie we just use very targeted therapy specific to conditions like we only use you know the evidence based approach for o c d we don't just do c b t we do you know exposure response prevention so you have to be logical give to be smart and you always have to look to narrow science to say how did this work and parents need to realize these problems never happen overnight you've got to give it time and we have to give our kids the tools and patients and i know in a world and we're also stressed nobody wants to hear that but people off and you know i get you think there's a pill that's going to make your kid do better in school there's not no happening

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:05

i looked for that pill when i was in school but it didn't help

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:07

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:09

like which one helped me read more books

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:13

i know

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:13

yeah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:14

right

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:15

yeah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:15

absolutely

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:17

so i was i had a guest on this must be like mental health weak it's kind of funny that these these two interviews back to back but we were talking about stress and anxiety and some stress is good stress

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:29

yes

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:29

um and you need that in your life but tell me the different between stress and anxiety because i think

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:35

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 13:35

people get those two things confused

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 13:37

absolutely and it's very easy for compounded stressers every day stressers to build and flip into anxiety so we have a system in our body called autonomic nervous system the n s and it manages our body's stress response and when we're calm and regulated we're in what's called a para sympathetic state call it the hot to state you're relaxed your nervous system has an ability to respond to big stressers like oh my god i just hit my car you know or little stressers like the mail man just left to go now drop that off in the post office instead of just putting it in my mail box but at the stress state is called the sympathetic dominant state and again you're supposed to be able to go for a paris sympathetic to a sympathetic and then back down but what is happening today is people are living in a state of compounded stressers and the nervous system instead of just sort of being it base line and a hum that it's in paris sympathetic you're living in these sympathetic dominant states which at the height of it is fight flight or phrase right our nervous system really started it shut down and tries to protect itself so stress is a normal reaction to something that happens we have varying levels of it right different points in our life and you know even kids but an ty is when something is persistent we have a persistent worry we have a persistent fear we have a persistent uncomfortableness or pattern of thinking that really gets in the way of our every day if um and that is increasingly common the average age of onset of an anxiety is order is aged six so p kids today are very very anxious you do not have to have genetic inheritability that's just good marketing from parma um and big research study just came out that said sara tone an deficiencies are not the primary cause of depression again farmer doesn't want you to hear that so i find depression most common cause of depression is long term anxiety and basically the body just gets depleted and so you become physically depressed but it is that difference is stress you have response it goes away anxiety is your having that persistent worry that persistent uncomfortableness um and particularly for kids but also with adults we never think of anxiety thing that's physical it always manifests itself physically with gastro intestinal distress sleep problems head pain those are some of your most common ways that anxiety manifest itself it's that physical uncomfortableness that we're looking to escape from

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 16:33

so the guests i was talking about she was also talking about the neuro science part of that she says

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 16:38

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 16:39

for for the anxiety it starts with fear and that fear gets to an unhealthy level of worst case scenario so she describes is going from zero to ten so which may be a normal fear of you know i hurt myself and you know my ankle is going to it's going to be long process to i'll never play sports again because that's where the fear took her to

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 17:00

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 17:00

and she said with depression it starts with you know general sadness and the sadness moved more and more to the fact where it moves to hopelessness and i like what you said so kind of maybe talk to us a little bit about how do we begin to change the way our mind is is processing what may be initially a normal fear to the to the level of oh my word my god my career is over i'll never do this

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 17:25

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 17:26

again

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 17:27

yeah and you know we we often only in mental health talk about feelings and when the way the body process is uncomfortable sensations um and it's not just fear right so fear is a very adult word right and yes kids have fears and worries but it starts with uncomfortable body then it's thinking then it's then it's then it's emotions right so we can have sensations like i think everybody can relate to some days you wake up and you're like why do i have this sinking feeling in my chest what happened and maybe you had a rough week the week before and it's sort of lingering within your body so we we have to process things how do you overcome this ist of all we have to stop being a society where nothing can be uncomfortable we have to experience a range of emotions like sadness anger disc ointment these are real things and we want to bubble wrap our kids i talk about bubble rapparenting it's a term trade mark and um and really what does that mean it means that we don't want our kids to experience anything bad but it is the magic happens when your kid learns to experience an uncomfortable sensation of thought ling sit with it for you know ten seconds ninety seconds five minutes and find a way to manage it and when they do that right first of all they gain coping skills they gain problem solving skills they also realize sometimes things are icky and guess what it doesn't last that long so i can handle that feeling right and if you think about that in the big world right like how does that manifest itself it manifests all the time right so you know in the same way tony and filomena told me you know you don't give a crap about what other people think right very very freeing but it also allowed me to difficult conversations with people where nobody else would have those conversations um and maybe somebody was an awesome person was doing something really offensive who was the person that would go and talk to me rosa and it was great because i would be helping somebody but you have to learn how to have confrontation means you have to feel comfortable in your own body and it would never be mean to somebody it's a higher purpose but we all avoid things that maybe we need to do because there's an uncomfortable ness with it right nobody really likes confrontation some of us are better at it right so but it's the tolerating uncomfortable sensations and when our kids are really good at it boy they get stressed inacculated they feel comfortable in their own skin they're able to actually alert properly so like wow this is a dangerous situation like i feel really uncomfortable right now danger danger danger i better take action where when we want to avoid everything we can't distinguish between a dangerous situation or something that's benign like we make mountains out of mole hills and all that these kind of kids are much harder to parent even though you think you're doing your kid a service you're really doing them a disservice because you're not building that mental health that's going to serve them and their relationships in there jobs when they're when they're parents themselves so that's how we build mental health by learning how to manage and tolerate uncomfortable sensations thoughts and feelings

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 21:14

that's phenomenal i just read somewhere that as i look at these kids they'd be going back to school this year that there's prediction that they're going to have just a ton of more anxiety typically going to have and

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 21:27

oh

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 21:27

i heard someone say be on the lookout for your kids anxiety level rising so what are some symptoms if your parents send your child back to school after this two years of covid what are some things for parents to be aware of in their kids that may be warning science they're not handling anxiety in a good way

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 21:46

yeah and you know so many people come to me every day and they're like oh my god could would should i wish i had seen this i didn't understand it and i'm always like you can only connect the dots looking back where it's right steve jobs quote um and school anxiety and school refusal are at such a high level schools do not even know what to do about it i just learned to have a district in new york city that made a school review refusal prog um um and they pull kids in from related districts right in their borough related boroughs um because they don't know what to do the new york city school system so i was like oh wow at least somebody's doing something so what are signs so we want to look for those somatic science right so if your kid is like throwing up for an unknown reason right if they have you know stomach aches if they're more classic science a little more emotional or withdrawn or avoid we want to look for internalizing and external i think behavior so internalizers hold things in they're goin t avoid externalizers they get a lot of help because they're angry and they kick things and they yell and they swear they have tantrums so you want look for those range of emotions and certainly there's a change if your kid is a change like while they love school and now they don't want to get on the bus right and you know you're not going to say to your kid are you anxious you know they're going t be like what is that you know you want to have on going conversations mental health conversations are not one in and done right they're not the spanish inquisition if you're not a family that is using emotional language they're not using what we call somatic language like connecting to you body's responses and i'll give you an example that in my house i'll say where do you feel this worry in your body put your hand and my kids are used to that their condition so they don't even have to give an explanation they can just touch that spot and then it acknowledges that there is something so but we want to look for those signs and please on the opposite side if your kid is a stellar student if they have friends don't use that is your bench mark of mental health yes kids you know in general who have a lot of friends in particular can be really more emotionally healthy but many kids can be straight a students and hot s inside i've had unfortunately during this pandemic i've had more kids commit try to commit suicide ever than i have in the thirty years combined who are strata top you know honors kids this that the other thing and it's because they're sort of crumbling inside and they're afraid to tell people um and and many times parents are like i only noticed problems sometimes they noticed particularly with older kids they might notice that they started using mariana or they became withdrawn or their sleep disruption like so sleep not sleeping enough but then when they get a chance they'll sleep all day which is a very normal developmental thing to look at the picture right um and they might say i'm so stressed out um and many kids say that you have to dig deeper how is that manifesting right and be like oh i hear oh my gosh it must be so stressful like what do you think of your top three things that are stressing you out you know and oh how are you going to work on that i think we don't give our kids the i know we don't talk enough about problem solving and resources particularly with those kids that are great students because we equate getting great grades with coping skills in life and that's their two separate skills you know

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 25:40

ah so a parent has discarvered that their kids are in with anxiety and they want to help them we talked about some things that are not helpful um if you're a parent in iowa and use my kids are dealing with this anxiety and i want to help them but i don't know where to go to or who to take my child to what what do you suggest and what are you looking for in someone that can help because that's all it's going to be the key because again getting the wrong kind of help isn't going to be helpful but

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 26:09

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 26:09

how do you find the right kind of help for your children

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 26:12

yeah i mean first of all you want to make sure you're going to somebody that's aligned with your family values and you want to go to somebody that's going to teach your kids skills a pill isn't going to fix something it's a tent are bandied and and yeah there are many ways particular with anxiety and depression we actually can calm the brain that have nothing to do with medication um and i'm not saying that to make anybody feel bad if you're on medication that's where you're at i'm here to educate you about alternatives and options because we want our kids to have mental health long after we're gone and that's about in a calm nervous system and a good set of skills to cope with life stresses right and so what the first thing you should do is talk to a friend if you know a friend that you love and try and say hey listen you know joe he's got to get some therapy because i don't know how to help him he won't leave his room um and he's biting my head off and it's more than just being a teen ager like he was now like this before okay do you know somebody she doesn't know somebody but maybe she's like you know what my my friend anna took her kid into that and she loved that therapist so go have an appointment you know find a trusted resource you can right the other great piece of vice is only go to a therapist who has experts in that area don't take your kid to an adult therapist don't take your kid who is o c d to an anxiety therapist those are two separate things find a specialist in that area if you're unsure what your kid has you really want to get somebody who's good at diagnostics you know and can help you figure that out um you know i feel like things like a d d in particular are too easy a diagnosis for people to get and everybody has attention problems but there at least ten other things that it could be that should be rolled out before it's a d d because attention can be pared very easily a bat having insomnia and sleep obstruction can cause a d d like symptoms you know and that's pretty common so ask a trusted source meet with that person see if they're aligned and really be ask them are you going to be teaching my kids coping skills and are you going to teach me on how to change my language so i can better support it because you know you might have to get a fishing license you do not need a license to parent and the number one way we parents learned parent is from our parents and know even if you had great parents these are modern times with modern issues that we need support on you know everyone's always asking me how much time should my kid be on their devices when should i worry about this or that and the other thing so you know as part of my podcasts we're going to be working on you know when should i be worried is this normal just because that's those are the questions that i get every day and sometimes it is perfectly normal and sometimes it's a clinical issue and but when in doubt get help nobody ever regrets getting help they only regret when they don't

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 29:25

right that's good a question so you said you should also get help in terms of knowing how to interact with your child so do you recommend the family the child and the parent being counceingto gathered europe is separately or whatever kind of works best

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 29:40

gether

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 29:40

in your sit

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 29:40

together i think no child therapist is how do i say this nicely i think they're doing service to working the child if they are not spending time either at every session or by weekly session whatever they need they need to be working with the parents because one hour a week is not going to change behavior and needs to be re enforced every day by parents and parents are awesome i mean parents are like show me what to do tell me what to do you know i did o that i mean i get so i work with people all over the world people i can work remotely with people and we have a whole program called brain behavior reset and so seventy percent of my clients are remote in our team we have a whole team that helps people and i would say on average most people are seeing ten to twelve people before they come to me which is never okay but they often say i've never my kids been going to therapy for three years i've only met with the therapist like twice like now so it's about re forcing the brain so when we you're not a bad parent but we all have different kids i have two kids that couldn't be more different well that's just how it happens and they need to be parent ed differently we have core values that r hodge and i are tight on but boy do they need totally different kinds of parent holy cow and if i wasn't a licensed therapist i'd be in big trouble with my oldest kid i mean he's been difficult right out of the gate okay so he's kept me on my toes he's humbled me i've had to have my a g in a game on the entire time his brother could have been raised by a pack of wolves and he'd be normal

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 31:37

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 31:39

you know what i read like he just came out like hey sure you know like you know it's just it's just that way i mean it's the same genetics and there's a lot of things and they get they get they just come out as fully formed human beings and we are here to teach them to teach them to teach them to be good human beings but to love themselves and to regulate their brain and body and that is a lot of work and sometimes a lot more work for a kid whose nervous system isn't regulated that's why talk about calming the brain all the time you cannot learn the disregulated nervous system that is nero science so when you know your other mental health provider was talking about a fear driven brain she's right if you're going into flight flight or freeze but it can and for many things the fear doesn't have to be real it could be a sensory experience it could be something imagined i mean there's just so many ways that our bodies activate and stress build and the next thing we know it's there and as if you're an adult you know exactly what you're talking about you have to counter it how do you counter it right for yourself your kid you pray you do positive affirmations you meditate you do yoga you do nor feed back you do bio feed back you do supplements you know you have to constantly counter it i do things every single day i do at least one thing a day i try to do two or three things a day to counter actually all the positive stressers i have in my life because your body knows no difference between you having a new book lawn or if you got in a car accident it doesn't know a difference it's the same stress it one may feel exciting and the other one really stinks but from a nervous person persistent perspective it's still pushing you towards sympathetic dominance so you've got to counter it so you know that's why it's as important or you know equally if not more to take care of yourselves because kids watch what you do they don't listen to what you say

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 33:46

that's powerful

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 33:47

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 33:50

so you have a new book i was going to be okay tell us about the book and who is it who is it written for

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 33:55

yeah so i have a book called it's going to be okay and it's written for all parents if their child is struggling in any way shape or form and it's a deep dive very deep dive into the st evidence based approaches into reversing and reducing mental health symptoms and yes i say revering and reducing because we need to know there are many ways to shut down now anxiety the o c d you know suicidal ideation these are common issues like and if your child is facing them please don't be embarrassed get a motor on it and and put it down and find somebody who will help you because these do not have to be lifelong conditions despite what farmer wants you to think they want you to think that so you'll stay on your med and that's not to say you should get off your mids today you need to work with a provider who's aligned with you but you need to change behavior you need to cultivate a way to stress inoculate yourself to get that nervous system regulated in this book really teaches you the science and shows you the behavioral components of it so you know if you love and care about anybody who's got a d d or learning disability or any those other issues that you know common things we talked about anxiety depression in c d this is the book that is written for them it's really captivates my thirty years worth of work it's not cheap to work with us i'm one and i only take about ten to twelve people a month i only work with a small amount of people because i'm doing all this mission work so um and you know this is the book for people to m

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 36:56

ah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 36:57

hello

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 36:58

i'm not sure what happened

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 36:59

i don't know what happened but i think it was on my end because it wouldn't let me get back in for quite a bit but nothing else was down here so anyway

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 37:08

okay

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 37:08

you can you can splice it together is that right

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 37:11

yeah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 37:12

okay

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 37:12

i can yes i actually put it on pause on the on the back of recording version of it to

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 37:17

oh good okay great

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 37:20

so well we'll ask

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 37:21

oh

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 37:21

that question again about your book again who is designed

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 37:24

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 37:24

for it and we'll start from there

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 37:26

yeah so my book it's going to be okay is designed for any parent of a child who's struggling in any way shape or form it is literally my road map on how to reverse and reduce behaviors um that kids struggle with who have a d d learning disabilities like dislexcng the depression o c d it really delves into the research there's about forty pages of research but it really helps parents to understand there are other things they can do ide's medication and gives them accessible resources wherever they're at whether it's dying it and i wrote this book because even though i work with people all over the world when i take a limited amount of people um and people have to apply to work with me but i'm expensive and not everybody can do that so i want people to be educated this book it's so that you don't have to google at two a m which is the most common time somebody sends me an email is two a m m because we've all been there when your kid is struggling there's nothing worse so it's a hopeful resource for people who really want to understand what's going on with their kid and what they need to do about it

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 38:43

i love the fact that you said there's research attached to it because so many books are may be good but you're not sure of the science behind it

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 38:54

yes

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 38:54

and i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 38:55

a

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 38:55

know there are some people out there who need to know how do you how do you verify what your statements are and i'm in the middle of doing a dctorsotation and so i'm

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 39:04

oh

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 39:05

having be able to back up everything i say i'm not used to that i'm a i'm a pastor you kind of have

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 39:10

right

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 39:10

the word of god and you just kind of like well i read this somewhere here's what i think but

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 39:16

oh

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 39:16

to back up what you're saying with science is so helpful to know that there's

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 39:19

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 39:19

there's it's an informed opinion not just your opinion

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 39:24

well i think it's so surprising to people keith that there are so many evidence based approaches and so you know so much of when i work with people one on one or even people that are following me social media is this almost like this push and pull around the well why haven't i heard about it like why are we not having this conversation there's a lot to unpack there but ultimately we do not have a no practitioners that actually are delving into science um just like i did right from the get go you know i have this massive google document with all the research studies that i read and i put him in there i get google alert every day on the research um in my area i'm staying current and paying attention i'm really going into that but i want people to understand things like you know specific types of psychotherapy there are there's lots of research to show that if you have this issue this type of therapy is the best one and then things like nutrition and diet which has been relegated to alternative therapy for some dumb reason what you put in your mouth affects how your brain works people all you need to do is have a sin bun know what i'm talking about you're going to feel awful bout an hour later you know i mean if you have brown rice and grilled chicken you're going to feel very different you know what mean so we have to power our brain and what it needs and people make a lot of mistakes keith when it comes to nutrition and mental health there they're doing a lot of car eating they're not eating high density ods proteins and fats to help support the nervous system to help support blood sugar and hormones and a lot of things so there's many things that feel like there are a lot of where but actually there brain hacks that can start working really quick and you know people need to know about them and then they need to take action i always said you guys take action you guys do it for at least thirty days i don't want to hear you did it for three times and it didn't work you know we we really need to put some changes into play and then honor them and be constant with them

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 41:35

you know it's funny i had another guest on talking about that third day thing and he said

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 41:40

h

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 41:40

the science behind it really is more like sixty days because

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 41:42

h

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 41:42

it was it was i guess it was a doctor who had done a um plastic surgery on somebody he said be a be a three days before they felt better from the surgery and people picked up on it being three days to change a habit and so he has a book out called sixty seven days because he says it's really close to sixty set and that changes the habit so i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:00

yeah

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:00

thought it was funny

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:01

it's actually ten days to break a behavior habit but you need a high level reinforcement

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:09

right

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:09

though somebody with a learning or processing or truggling is at least three times so that's why i say thirty days you know and

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:17

right

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:17

and think about

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:18

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:18

what you can do in thirty days like if you worked out in thirty days like you're going to develop a muscle right you know you might lose a few pounds but you're right if you did double the amount you're gonna see some big differences right

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:31

right yeah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:33

you know

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:33

so

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:33

and everyone wants the magic wand i mean that's why i got

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:35

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:36

the magic wand on my desk

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:38

you

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:38

um literally i pulled it up for everybody to say um

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 42:41

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 42:42

but that's not how we shape behavior you know you didn't learn to drive but just get in your car and go you had to practice maybe you took the class you know and then you you know you did this and then you practice on the parking line and then the road and then i wait so i worked so i don't know why

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 43:00

i don't know

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 43:00

people expect like depression or anxiety to just go away they think oh we live in a nice house where religious where this why is that happening to me well it's just what happened to their brain there's a way to unwind that that can support you know the brain changing that's safe and natural and guess what you got to do behavior all work too

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 43:22

i love it so i'd like to ask my guest this question we kind of wrap things up what do you want your legacy to be

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 43:29

well i want to

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 43:30

i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 43:30

change

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 43:30

want

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 43:30

the

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 43:30

to

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 43:30

way we view and treat children's mental health i want

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 43:33

o

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 43:33

people to understand that we can do better by our children and the we're making mental health way harder than it has to be and it starts with a calm brain so my goal is to really give people those resources to help their kids brain become and regulated so then we can change the behavior of our kids change family dynamics and create generational mental wealth you know for for kids and families because if you don't feel good in the inside if you're not emotionally strong what else matters you know it doesn't matter what the car is in the driveway of the degree if you are so crippled with worry in the inside that you know you can't go on a date or you can't hold job it doesn't matter and that's happening more and more

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 44:24

exactly anything i haven't asked you that i should have asked you

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 44:30

you know i think what i

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 44:32

i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 44:32

would say is what's the greatest mistake parents make in mental health

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 44:36

we

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 44:37

and

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 44:37

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 44:38

the greatest mistake that i see every day is that they wait for a crisis before they get help um because kids can hold it together on the outside to some degree um you know don't look for the magic bullet get started get working with somebody fine that provider and expect you're going to have to do some parenting work and don't think you're a bad parent just think you need a new way to instruct your child shape their behaviors and you know just know your kid never does things on purpose every and thinks there is two things a purpose they're just acting on auto pilot because they don't need they don't know another way and they're going to keep acting like that until you shape their behavior so don't wait for a crisis get some help

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:26

that's great so where can they find your book your podcast and where can they find you on your website in social media

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 45:33

you can find me

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:33

i

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 45:33

doctor rosan everywhere that's d r r o s e n n that's dot com you find me in tiktok and you tube and instagramsdr

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:42

oh

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 45:42

rosin n to rosancapanahadge

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:45

m

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 45:46

on facebook you can get the

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:47

ah

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 45:47

linked to my book it's going to be okay

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:49

m

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 45:49

is on my website or you can go to it's going to be okay dot com um and find it there or on amazon

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 45:55

well thank you dora this was a great conversation and thank you for what you do i think it's so critical especially in this time to know for parents to know that their kids have tons and there's science behind the kind of treatment that their kids need there's a wholistic way to do that and so i really appreciate this conversation

[dr__roseann_capanna_hodge]: 46:13

well thanks for letting me help parents who need it more than ever

[keith_haney__the_man__the_myth__the_legend]: 46:17

thank you